Dead People Paid £57 Million in Benefits

It's official, dead people are financially better off than living people. The Government paid out £57 million in benefits to dead people last year. That included £34.4m on dead peoples pensions, £13.3m in income support for dead people, £1.6m on incapacity benefit and £0.1m on job seekers allowance.

Many living people are planning a demonstration to protest that some dead people are finding it easier than living people to claim benefit. A government spokesman has released a statement pointing out that dead people are finding it difficult to find work, and need just as much help and support as the living.

Marcus Magnesbottom, who speaks to the departed, claims that the dead are happy with the benefits they receive, and will plan a demonstration themselves if their benefits are cut. Although no one is quite sure what form the demonstration will take.

There is also a claim from Richard Salmonbottom, the MP for Dagenham, that the dead people receiving benefits are all related to senior Labour politicians or are relatives of big money lenders to the Labour party. The Government have denied this claim, which means it's probably true.

Rail Points "Are Safe" - Says "The Sun" Newspaper.

Rail Points "Are Safe." This was a headline for a story in The Sun newspaper today (26/2/07). It's referring to the recent rail crash involving a Virgin train, which killed one person and injured many more. At the end of the story, The Sun asks the question, "Who do you blame for the rail crash? Virgin or Network Rail?"

The Sun printed this story before the investigation was completed. The headline implies that the points are OK, therefore the only conclusion left is that the train or the driver were at fault. Yet the investigation has since concluded that the points were in fact faulty, and that the Virgin train or the driver were in no way responsible for the accident. It's quite possible that the train driver and the train itself actually saved lives.

Therefore, I think the question The Sun asks shouldn't be "Who do you blame for the rail crash?" but instead should be, "Is it a coincidence that Rupert Murdoch who owns The Sun and owns Sky and is currently having a dispute with Virgin Media, should print a story implying that Virgin are responsible for the rail crash?"

Or perhaps the question should be, "How low will The Sun go?"

Or even better, "Do people actually believe the shit they print in this crappy newspaper?"

I for one, sincerely hope not.

Of course, tomorrow The Sun will rectify this by printing a tiny story hidden among a mass of adverts saying that actually the points were faulty.

What's the Difference Between George Bush and Osama Bin Laden?

Osama Bin Laden caused the deaths of 2973 Americans.
George Bush has caused the deaths of over 3100 Americans.
Looks like George Bush is winning the war on terror, he is now ahead of Osama Bin Laden by over 100 deaths. Well done George, you should be proud of yourself.