Dead People Paid £57 Million in Benefits

It's official, dead people are financially better off than living people. The Government paid out £57 million in benefits to dead people last year. That included £34.4m on dead peoples pensions, £13.3m in income support for dead people, £1.6m on incapacity benefit and £0.1m on job seekers allowance.

Many living people are planning a demonstration to protest that some dead people are finding it easier than living people to claim benefit. A government spokesman has released a statement pointing out that dead people are finding it difficult to find work, and need just as much help and support as the living.

Marcus Magnesbottom, who speaks to the departed, claims that the dead are happy with the benefits they receive, and will plan a demonstration themselves if their benefits are cut. Although no one is quite sure what form the demonstration will take.

There is also a claim from Richard Salmonbottom, the MP for Dagenham, that the dead people receiving benefits are all related to senior Labour politicians or are relatives of big money lenders to the Labour party. The Government have denied this claim, which means it's probably true.