Bush Turns Down Blair Offer

A private conversation between George Bush and Tony Blair was accidentally recorded during a recent summit of the G8 countries. George Bush was seated, eating a pork sandwich, while Tony Blair was standing, leaning over Bush, apparently squirming. Contrary to reports the conversation actually went as follows.

Bush, "Yo Blair."

Blair, "Hi Georgie. Erm, I was just wondering if.., do you mind if I go to the toilet?"

Bush, "Yes, Condi's in there at the moment."

Blair, "Oh, but if I go now, I'll only have to do it standing up, if Condi goes she'll have to sit down and it'll take longer."

Bush, "No, Condi's going, besides, you'd be amazed at what she can do standing up."

Blair, "But, but, but, please, I'm dying for a wee."

Bush, "Condi's going."

Blair, "Ok. So what's going on in the middle east?"

Bush, "Usual shit. Iraq's a mess, Afghanistan is a mess, Palestine is a mess, and now Israel's bombing Lebanon into mess. Just Iran and Syria to go and we'll be able to get our hands on all that oil."

Blair, "Splendid. What do I get out of all this again?"

Bush, "Nothing."

Blair, "Of course. Splendid. Did you see Robbie Williams in concert the other night?"

Bush, "Yeah, he's sweet."

Blair, "He's honey. I would."