Monday, July 31, 2006

Mice Rejoice - US Scientists Reverse Muscular Dystrophy

Scientists in the US have found a way of reversing the effects of the wasting disease, muscular dystrophy, in mice. The therapy fully repaired heart and skeletal muscle function in all the mice with faulty DNA.
A spokesmouse from the North American League of Mice congratulated the scientists involved, saying that "mice all over the world could now look forward to a better quality of life."
Dr. Tom Enjerry, the leading scientist involved in this break through work, now plans to develop a cure for arthritis in spiders.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Condoleeza Lies

Condoleeza Rice's response to the deaths of 54 civilians, including at least 34 children, after Israel bombed a residential building in Qana, is such a blatant lie that it's an insult.
She is quoted as saying that she is "deeply saddened by the terrible loss of innocent life," and that "We are also pushing for an urgent end to the current hostilities."
This statement comes from the US Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice, who is a member of the US Government that is currently supplying weapons to Israel so it can bomb and kill more innocent people in Lebanon.
Obviously she is not sorry at all, she is part of the US Administration that supplies weapons to Israel.
The second statement, that she is "pushing for an urgent end to the current hostilities" is also a lie. The US was the only member of the UN to vote against an immediate ceasefire.
Perhaps she should change her name to Condoleeza Lies.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Bush Turns Down Blair Offer

A private conversation between George Bush and Tony Blair was accidentally recorded during a recent summit of the G8 countries. George Bush was seated, eating a pork sandwich, while Tony Blair was standing, leaning over Bush, apparently squirming. Contrary to reports the conversation actually went as follows.
Bush, "Yo Blair."
Blair, "Hi Georgie. Erm, I was just wondering if.., do you mind if I go to the toilet?"
Bush, "Yes, Condi's in there at the moment."
Blair, "Oh, but if I go now, I'll only have to do it standing up, if Condi goes she'll have to sit down and it'll take longer."
Bush, "No, Condi's going, besides, you'd be amazed at what she can do standing up."
Blair, "But, but, but, please, I'm dying for a wee."
Bush, "Condi's going."
Blair, "Ok. So what's going on in the middle east?"
Bush, "Usual shit. Iraq's a mess, Afghanistan is a mess, Palestine is a mess, and now Israel's bombing Lebanon into mess. Just Iran and Syria to go and we'll be able to get our hands on all that oil."
Blair, "Splendid. What do I get out of all this again?"
Bush, "Nothing."
Blair, "Of course. Splendid. Did you see Robbie Williams in concert the other night?"
Bush, "Yeah, he's sweet."
Blair, "He's honey. I would."

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