Police Raid Nursery

Anti-terror police raided a children's nursery yesterday, it has been revealed. Thirty armed officers stormed the nursery at 10:30am, shooting and injuring a four year old boy. The police had received intelligence that one of the children was planning an attack on a play ground in Dagenham. They said they had no choice but to act quickly. The four year old, whose name is not being revealed for legal reasons, has been taken into police custody for questioning.

A friend of the four year spoke after the event, saying that he noticed how he had become much more religious recently. He said instead of playing with the other kids in the street, he spent more time praying. He also said he had grown a large, thick beard, and shaved his head.

Police made a statement saying that an informer had given them details of an imminent attack.

Although there is some doubt about the reliability of the informer. Apparently the four year old who was arrested, stole the informers dinner money from him the day before the raid, and the informer, also four years old, was just getting his revenge.

Israel/Palestine - On Going Insanity

Palestinian militants have vowed to retaliate after Israel fired rockets on to a beach in the Gaza Strip. The Israeli army allegedly fired the rockets in retaliation for a previous attack by the Palestinians, which the Palestinians said was in retaliation for an attack by the Israelis, which the Israelis said was in retaliation for an attack by the Palestinians, which apparently was in retaliation for a helicopter gunship attack on Palestine, which the Israelis said was in retaliation for an earlier attack by the Palestinians, which, yes you've guessed it, was in retaliation for a previous attack by the Israelis, which, according to the Israelis, was in retaliation for a previously retaliatory attack by the Palestinians, which, a Palestinian spokesman said, was in retaliation for an attack which Israel carried out in retaliation for a Palestinian attack, which was in retaliation for..... etc.....etc.....etc.

When will someone sane say "enough is enough" and stop this insane never ending cycle of madness???

The answer, sadly, is blowing in the wind.

New Anti-Terror Bill - Too Extreme, Says Opposition

The Government is planning to push new terror laws through parliament next week. The Bill, dubbed 'No Innocents', will give police new powers to arrest anyone on suspicion of being a terrorist without having any suspicion of them being a terrorist. The arrested individual will then have to prove they are innocent in a specially set up anti-terror court.

Other measures in the Bill will outlaw certain types of behavior associated with terrorists, including 'using the word bomb in a telephone conversation', and 'intentionally acting in an overtly innocent manner that may result in suspicion.'

The Conservative MP for Dagenham, Bill Bottomley, said the measures were far too extreme and could turn Britain into a new Stalinist state. Mr. Bottomley went on to say something else but was arrested for being sympathetic towards the causes of terrorism. He will no doubt have a confession beaten out of him and then be sent to the newly set up gulag style prison in Norfolk.

Disturbing News Just In

God doesn't exist.
Neither does Father Christmas.
The world was not created in 6 days.
Eventually the Earth will be sucked into a black hole.
Heaven and Hell doesn't exist.
There is no tooth fairy.
The world is not flat.
Eventually there will be no oil, gas or coal.
Elvis is dead.
Spaghetti does not grow on trees.
Eventually we will all die.

And now for the weather.
There May be some cloud, some clear sky, some rain, some snow, and some different temperatures, depending on where you live.

Grass NOT Greener On Other Side

A group of scientists, lead by Dr. Ho Li Phlatbottom, have been studying whether grass really is greener on the other side. The group have been comparing grass from this side and the other side, for the past six years. Over this period they have found no significant difference between the shades of grass.

The study involved taking thousands of blades of grass from this side and then comparing them to an equal amount of grass from the other side. The shades of green, when combined, showed no measurable difference.

Dr. Phlatbottom said, "This myth has now been dispelled using proven scientific methods. I hope now that people will stop using this over optimistic and rather annoying saying. The grass is simply not greener on the other side. So please stop it. Thank you."

However, mythologist, Susan Pertbottom, said that the study undermines optimistic beliefs and furthers disharmony the world over.

Why she said that is a myth itself, as nobody knows what she is talking about.